Waiting On A Woman
by SeGate
Summary: The riders are waiting on the return of the woman who is most important in their world. A fun little piece inspired by the ladies on the Plus.


"When is _she_ comin' back?" Cody paced in front of the bunkhouse.

"I already tole ya, I don't know!" Kid's voice rang with impatience. "As much as I wish otherwise, _she_ don't answer to me."

"But I'm starvin' and Rachel said we had to wait on _her_ to get back before dinner would be served." Cody heard the plaintive tone of his own voice and winced. "Sorry guys... I don't mean to complain."

"But it's been seven months since _she_ left. And _she_ promised to be back the next day." Noah nodded at Cody. "I'm starvin' too."

"I can't believe you all are so worried about your stomachs, when poor Ike has been on a run to Blue Creek that whole time too. It's crazy!" Lou pushed her glasses back to the bridge of her nose. "And don't tell _her _I said so, but I think _she_ sent him on that ride just to get rid of him."

"Lou, you better watch it! If _she_ hears you talkin' like that, _she's_ apt to punish you." Kid pulled Lou into an embrace.

"Gosh, Kid, this is sweet and all, but I ain't that worried." Lou tried to push him away, uncomfortable with the show of affection in front of all the other riders present.

"He ain't huggin' you out of worry." Buck laughed as he continued, "He's huggin' you 'cause he's cold. _She_ took all our shirts when _she_ left. But we already fenced all the land around Sweetwater."

"What I want to know," Jimmy interrupted, "is why _she_ took ma pants too. Seven months of being naked is harder than you think."

"I don't know Jimmy, from here it don't look hard at all." Cody's eyes twinkled with mirth.

"Dammit, Cody! I told ya, I'm cold." Jimmy threw a glare at the blond rider, before looking at Lou and continuing, "I assure you everything is in working order. Impressive, working order."

"Now, Jimmy, don't worry. When _she_ gets back I'm sure you'll all get the chance to show me just how well everything works." Lou smirked as Kid made a sound indicating his disgust.

Stomping to the edge of the bunkhouse porch, Kid erupted, "Lou, we get married! How can you do this?"  
Noah laid a reassuring hand on the Kid's shoulder. "I know it's hard for you to understand, Kid. But it's called 'fanon'. You and Lou get married in the 'canon', but in 'fanon' she's fair game for any of us."

"Yeah, Kid, while you were brushin' Katy _again_ last night, the rest of us were drawin' straws. Jimmy won again." Cody sat down to clean his rifle, desperate to keep his mind off his stomach.

"It ain't my fault I've won every night since _she _left. Hey, you think that's why _she_ took ma pants?" Jimmy didn't sound too upset by the possibility.

"Mmm, I hope so..." Lou looked guilty when she realized she'd given voice to her thoughts. "Um, well, I mean, as much as I like to yell at all of ya, I can't deny that I tend to make out pretty well whether it's 'fanon' or 'canon.' There have been some pretty brutal things done to me, but most of the time I end up happy with one of you guys. It's good to be the only girl."

Buck winked at her, saying, "Yeah, you do make out pretty well. I got no complaints."

Kid threw up his hands, yelling, "Hello! I'm right here! I can't believe this... When _she_ gets back here, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind."

"That's _ifshe_ comes back, Kid." Teaspoon's voice cut through the growing clamor. He was crossing the yard from the house to the bunkhouse, one arm draped over Rachel's shoulders.

"Wait, _she_ can just not come back?" Jimmy shivered involuntarily.

"Well, Jimmy, boys, Lou, I gotta say, I seen this kinda thing before. The so-called 'cre-a-tive pro-cess' is a delicate thing. _She's_ what ya call an author, and sometimes the words just don't come like they should. _She_ might be stuck deciding what comes next."

Lou gave Jimmy an assessing glance. "I got some ideas what should come next."

"Louise McCloud! That ain't helpin'," Rachel scolded her younger friend. "Kid and the others feel left out."

"Well last time _she _was here, I heard _her_ sayin' somethin' about the "Lair." Sounds like you know several of the boys in the Biblical sense too." Lou's words caused Rachel to blush all the way to her ample bosom.

"Now, now, Ladies. You can't be turnin' on each other. We have to stick together... Except for poor Ike. But as I was sayin' before... Once it's been this long, it's possible..." Teaspoon stroked his chin.

"What's possible?" asked Kid.

"I think what Teaspoon's sayin' is that it's possible _she_ ain't comin' back at all." Buck's voice belied the anxiety the half-Kiowa was feeling at the possibility.

"That's right, Buck. The longer _she_ stays away, the more likely it is that _she'll _never be back." Teaspoon's words hung over them like a shroud.

"What happens then?" asked Noah, looking nervous.

"We can do whatever we want, right?" Kid looked hopeful, until Teaspoon shook his head.

"I'm afraid not, Kid. We're just stuck waitin'," Teaspoon answered soberly.

"Maybe we should pray or somethin'."

"Where's ma gun?"

"Watch you're pointin' that thing, Jimmy!"

Heightened emotions and chaos soon resulted in a brawl amongst all the riders. Teaspoon and Rachel shared a despairing glance.

"I sure hope _she _comes back and soon," sighed Rachel.

Teaspoon nodded in agreement. "Me too, Rachel, me too. Ain't nothin' harder than waitin' on a woman."

* * *

_**I hope you laughed at least once :) I dedicate this fine story to the lovely ladies on the Plus. I have greatly appreciated your friendship :)**_

_**And to the readers of fanfiction, who know the worst words in the world are "to be continued..." especially when found at the end of a story not updated for months or years.**_


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